The Story of the Bunny and the Toaster

Chapter One

I first became aware of the bunny and toaster story in the Winter of '95 when Henry Churchyard posted a followup to a followup from Nosy who mentioned the "bunny vs. toaster" debate in the Cool People On Alt.Stupidity thread.

For years afterwards (well, almost two), I tried to find out the troo story. Mr. Churchyard doesn't post that often (but apparently lurks), so I hounded Nosy. But Nosy wouldn't say. Adam Jewell (Amp) and occasionally others would sometimes help my efforts, but to no avail.

Sometime in 1996, one of the original flounders of the froup, Russ Reynolds, returned from the deserts of Florida (or maybe South America) after years of of being away (for so long that only Nosy remembered him) and hung around for a few months. He seemed to know about the story, but didn't appear too interested. After awhile, he stopped posting and disappeared again.

Stoopitian John Patrick Lodder--who's been posting in the froup since the dawn of time--remembered something about the Bunny and the Toaster, but couldn't recall the details.

One begins to thnik the storey had a very traumatic effect on everyone...

Chapter Two

In late 1997, the subject came up again when somebody (amp?) asked about what John Lodder's title was back when Spatch got elected God and was handing out political appointments. Henry Churchyard delurked long enough to thoughtfully provide us with this followup (50K).

(Most ain't got nothin' to do with the bunny and the toaster, but does show what alt-dot-stoopidititity waz like in the old days. Pretty much the same as now, once you killfile the flamewars and other crossposts.)

Chapter Three

This is the email that John sent me as a followup to the post:

Subj:	 Re: Yes, John? (Was: Hey Bill!!)
Date:	97-10-21 10:11:54 EDT
From: (John Lodder)

> I'm awaiting with bad breath!

Ok, here you go.  This is an excerpt of an email sent to me by someone
who was reading alt.stupidity during the first three months of existence.

> Someone mentioned a bunny/toaster debate.  Then a fellow named Henry
> Churchyard posted that he began reading in May, 1991, and did not
> recall a bunny/toaster debate, but did mention a post or two in which
> it was impunged that a fellow named Russ (from Boston University, by
> the headers, not you) was tortuning someone and preventing her from
> reading the newsgroup.  Part of the torture involved toasting bunnies
> before her very eyes.

It's coming back to me now.  There were TWO other guys named "Russ" in
that group.  I remember a lot about bunnies, but very little about 
toasters, though I think there was something about someone doing something
awful to bunnies and she was posting that she couldn't read the group 
because it had become so awful.  And we all comforted her in posts that
tried to paint a happy face on the gruesome scene, always throwing in a
little more graphic description each time.